I died

Nah! Haha just kidding!
roflmao
at home

Yay I didn't die

Back in the New Zealand now. Not dead. Good.

Amongst the Crasians (crazy asians)

Some of you may have heard that we were meant to be on different flights from Taiwan, with Greg staying a full day. However, it turns out the flight I was booked on didn't exist... so now we're on the same flight. Although all this was fixed at the counter for free, it does mean I miss my flight to Wellington by a day, and then the bastards charged me $120 to change it. I don't know if EVA Air fucked up, or if it was STA Travel, but someone is going to give me that money back or their offices will be torched. Not by me... By someone else... Who looks like me on security cameras but isn't actually me. Honest.

So today we are in Taiwan. I didn't have any money, but then my parents gave me some as emergency because I thought I was flying straight through. Taiwan uses dollars, but its 20:1 to NZ$ so I feel rich. We are going on a free tour, after free night in 5-star hotel, with free buffet breakfast and now I'm using free internet. Taiwan is a cheap place.

Also, Laser Mission is a sweet movie. It was the classic on the flight over. Classic.

I'm trying to think of a pun, but Greg 'pun'ishes me now if I do.

Yeah so if I make puns now, Greg waits a couple of sentences and then just repeats it back. Apparently my Uncle is a punny guy too -it must be genetic.

Today we went for a drive around the south of England. Greg: I like the English countryside. Yes Greg, it is nice. We went to a beach where it was stoney. I threw rocks at the sea to get back at the Yrr. Barstards. Greg threw rocks at me because he suspected I was a jew. At first I was angry, but when he explained it like that, I thought it was fair enough.

I need to get a book for the flight because the other books finished and the iPod died. I'm thinking the Koran could be interesting. Well at least if you read out the passages about infidels while boarding. Fuck people at Heathrow are Islamophobic (I learnt a new word on the British Communist Party website -my cousin's homepage). Greg: Al doesn't realise that they're just anti-semitic. I think this smear campaign stems from me having not spent any money after borrowing 50c from him in France...

We have been spreading the word of Flight of the Conchords, who, with our help, should be set to 'take-off' over here. Hahahahaha. But I think they'll just crash and burn in Paris... too soon? Greg: Don't laugh that's not funny. Nah just kidding it's fucking hilarious.

Brighton? Not so. It was cloudy. I love puns.

So today we went to Brighton on the English seaside and it was pretty much like what you'd expect from the English seaside. It had a pier, and a pile of metal that used to be the other pier but I guess it was built with immigrants or something just as shoddy like aluminium or tin, in fact I hear that tins not as structurally sound as we were all led to beleive. Now you can have your cake AND eat it. Hows that for news?

Also Al forgot to mention that when we were in Nimes, I went to a rugby training for this Uni team and played rugby with them and im still sore from exercising for the first time in about 4 months. I assume that about now Benny and jamie are leaving/left after going to the BDO. So they should have fun. Dont know what we are doing tomorrow. We'll have to see if Al wakes up before midday (he rarely does now that he's old).

Tools coming again to NZ in September. Yay for me. I hope I go. It will be a fun time for me. If I go. I hope I do it would be a fun time and I would say Yay, for me.
Goodnight.

EasyJet -more like LazyJet

So we made it back to England and to my Uncle's place near London.

We left Nimes in the morning after saying goodbye to the french girls we were staying with. They are going to Australia soon and are thinking of an excursion to New Zealand. I hope they come, because they completely changed my views on the French. And Julie is an amazing cook, particularly when you've been surviving on stale muffins since Valencia.

When we got to London-Gatwick, the landing was a little bumpy but nothing like a typical Wellington day, yet apparently we're in the midst of a perfect storm that has killed a few people so far by falling trees. Therefore, we sat on the tarmac for about an hour because the cargo handlers were too scared (/bound by health and safety regulations) to bring the bridgey thing to the plane. Then when we did finally get off, there was another hour wait for the luggage back-log to go.

I can see why they made that program Airline about EasyJet.

French people -not as bad as we were led to believe

Firstly, French keyboards are seriously fucked up. From now on I'll type as if it were normal...

So todqy ae qre in Nî,es becquse we couldn%t get in touch zith our hosts in Qix or this girl in ?qirseille before lqst night; It is q nice tozn; Even though they hqve exq,s they qre still drinking zith us; French people qre not qs bqd qs the zorld sqys. I feel I should point out, fro, the stqte of the typing, thqt ze qre not drunk noz;;;

To,,oroz ze fly to London to recover qt ,y Uncle%s plqce for q fez dqys before the return journey;

GREG SCORED!

himself a new bag -this was mean to go above but then the title would have been too long. Sorry for the confusion. Stop crying, Lucy.

Today we are still in Valencia. This is a day longer than we initially thought, but we needed to do some shopping. I have decided to get small gifts for the flat and the family, because I have to live with them and otherwise they may shit in my shoes (particularly worried about my Dad...). Everyone else, well, it's not that I don't love you but actually it is. That and my bag is not going to fit gifts for my masses and masses of friends. Also, it is heavy as it is.

Today it was cold -only 16 degrees. And not sunny. I guess the sun can't shine every day in Spain. But personally I blame Greg for downloading 'Always take the weather with you' last night so now we will be followed by the shitty weather you guys are having.

Heading to France tommorow, well that is the plan. But our plans haven't gone that well in the past so we may end up in Angola.

We also went to the bull fighting ring today, but there was no fight. I think the whole bull fighting thing is a load of bull made up for the tourists but they never actually do it.

What are you looking at, punk?

We went to this underground punk rock concert last night. It was pretty sweet. The city council apparently gives them these old buildings to turn into concert venues. There was a mosh pit. Well actually there was really just us and the Italians we are staying with and every so often a random. Alessandro accidentally headbutted me in the nose. Mosh pits are fun. Then we went ot go to some other club. I wanted to stop and burn this couch but the Italians weren't so keen -more like Itali-lames... Nah just kidding these guys are really cool.

When we got to the club, it closed like half an hour later. Also, 50 Cent wasn't there so I guess he was lying when he said we could find him in the club in that song. Dick. Then we went to go to another club but it had closed. So we walked home. It was an hour walk, but there was heaps of sweet stuff to see on the way. I set up a shoe shop on the side of the road with some stuff I found in the bin, but Greg, fearing for my sexuality, kicked it down. I think I will always look back on my time as the owner of a shoe shop in Valencia fondly.

Team New Zealand may have sold out

We are in Valencia. It is very nice. Warm and stuff. Not warm enough to swim, but we did do that at a beach in Tarragona next to the old amphitheatre on the way down from Barcelona. Pretty much Spain is awesome.

We went down to the America's Cup village today. It isn't finished yet but I think it will be pretty good. There was no one at the Team New Zealand base -I think they might be training in New Zealand. Most of the other teams are. Actually I should call it Emirates Team New Zealand, because that's its official name here. And also, Steinlager has been cut as a sponsor to make way for the Spanish (and pretty average) beer Estella Damm. Selling out to the man, or the senor perhaps.

We are going out tonight because one of the guy's we are staying with, his home town football team in Italy won it's first game this season (18 matches so far). He says we can't leave because us being in Valencia has been a goof luck charm.

To the beach.... and beyond!

Today we took ye olde train from Barcelona (a wonderfully awesomely brilliant town) to Valencia (so far the same-ish as Barcelona) with a 4 hour stopover in Taragona.. or I think thats what it was called. It used to be the capital of Spain...back in the Roman days. It had a wall and a stadium thing and circus. All romanesque. So that was a mean as town. Have to go back one day fo sizzle. We also went to the beach... and beyond. Which mean swimming, and it was nice. As it normally is when its like 22 degrees and there aint a cloud in the sky. So that was sweet. Now were chilling wit some Italian dudes in their casa in Valencia. Its rad. Catch you on the flip side.

Spain

Temperature is in the 20s, strawberries are cheaper than in NEw Zealand, and wine in a dollar a bottle. Spain rocks.

We are going on a pub crawl tonight. More details later...

Spain is like Italy except with out as much old stuff. Oh and its like 50x better. And the spanish girls make the italians look like horses. Ugly horses.

Heading to Valencia tommorow.

That was the wine

The last post revealed, if you had'nt already noticed, that Al is an angry drunk. The Swiss gueards are friendly people and even the 'curtains' arent that impressive. We are about to leave Italy after like a week and a half of weather warmer than in NZ and were hading on to sunnier Spain. I'm wearing a t-shirt at the moment and last time I checked it was raining in NZ. Sorry.

Rome is hilarious. Especially when the police come and the counterfeit sunglass indian dudes run away but then some get caught and the police confiscate their shit. It's mean. In both senses. 1€ for 1 hour internet is sweet too. Well we best go and catch the bus to the plane to the bus. Or we might miss the plane to Barcelona. Try figure that out.

This beer is hell

There is a beer in Italy called Hell. We didn't buy it -mike the aussie did. It was bad. So we had a couple of casual bottles of wine instead to celebrate our 10th country so far -the Holy See. Its aka's as the Vatican, for those of you who don't know.

It was rainy and the police gave us some free umbrellas they had confisctaed out of a bin because some dodgy indian had dumped them there as he ran from the cops. It was mean.

The Vatican has lots of old stuff and paintings and shit. Forget the ceiling, the most impressive part of the Sistine Chapel is the walls which are painted to look like curtains. Like hardcore curtains. Mean.

I didn't fight the Swiss guards, even though I was angry at them for being Swiss.

I came, I saw, someone tried to pickpocket me

Someone tried to pickpocket me last night. And then we ended up in a bar where there was transvestites. That's what happens when you got to town with an aussie.

When in Rome

Today we saw the Colosseum and the Forum and stuff. They have a lot of old stuff here. Most of it's broken -as this Aussie guy Michael suggested then could put a couple of concrete blocks anywhere in the city and put a fence around it and the tourists would come and take photos of it. Rome is sweet though.

Last night we had a epic meal. My parents thought we needed to eat well on my birthday so they gave me €100. We had a 5 course meal. The waiter couldn't speak any English and hoped our Italian would be okay... At least we didn't accidentally order shit on a plate or anything.

This American guy was just saying he wants to get arrested here because that's what he does in Europe. It's more fun than in America apparently. But if you're going to smoke weed in front of the Paris Central Police Station...

Ti amo Italia!

Good evening from Naples! Especially to our strong following in Sweden (11%). We love Swedish people. Yesterday we woke up in Naples and saw the myraiad of beautiful sites around the city. 3 castles in all which were pretty impressive. New Zealand needs more castles, or atleast some to begin with. So far weve had like 5 pizzas and theyre good. I want more pizza tonight but Al's all like nah I want pasta. Pasta's for bitches, unless its with pasta sauce. That's good. Then today we took the epic train journey to Pompeii and saw the Roman town complete with encased bodies, beware of the dog signs and ruined buildings. I'd say its a good vision of Auckland in 10 years time (Hopefully). Naples is actually remarkably asian seeming. It sounds weird but its kinda crowded and dirty and theres people selling stolen camcorders to you on scooters and theres cheap stuff aplenty. Man i want more pizza. Hope its warming up in NZ now. We were down to t-shirts yesterday but it was only about 13 here today so not that great. Naples is a beautiful city though and a great place to be... unless your a girl apparently. Then your liable to be hit on by every sleazy italian guy/Al. So watch out. Take care, see you on the 23rd/24th!

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year. Happy New Year. We are tired and smell like wine. Its 9.46am and I have not slept. We met heaps of randoms and somehow we took like 30 photos each. Hope you all had a good time and did not get rained on. Post comments with what you got up to. Off to Naples I think.

Al learned not to stop Italians fighting because one of them will pick you up and throw you and you will land on your kidney and it hurts. That'll teach him. Have a nice day.