Youth Hostels

We found a free couch in the street. We called in Gertrüd. We sat on Gertrüd and ate our breakfast/lunch. We considered burning Gertrüd, but that's not how you treat a new friend over here. We also sat on a stage for a bit... people expected us to peform (there were lights...) so we left.

You meet some sweet people in Youth Hostels:

- the 6 foot 8 german guy we talked to last night.
- this sweet as german dude called fFlo who might become a couchsurfer and helped us out with Prague.
- this American called Alex who we went to the bar the Beatles became famous from with and who also taught us to ride the U-Bahn for free. Also, tellign the hookers it is Greg's birthday and he needs a little something-something doesn't work. They assume you need entertainment too...

Goodbye Hamburg (like Amsterdam but not quite as cool), Hello Berlin.

Red light districts

Having now been to two of the world's most famous red light districts (Amsterdam and Hamburg), I have noted the following important points:

- Hookers in Hamburg dress like Unicol girls (Ugg boots, jackets with faux fur trim, jeans and a bad fake tan).
- German hookers are more persistent... and for some reason greet you by offering to let us double team her.
- Unlike in Amsterdam where most people are tourists looking around , in Hamburg it's all Germans so the hookers get offended if you shun them. Also, they expect you to speak german. Luckily somehow the german Mr Vercauteran taught me got me through... Greg started by saying something non-sensical in Italian, which worked at first till it back-fired and I ended up trapped against a lampost by a nasty hooker speaking French (for some reason). After escaping this situation, I taught him to say "nicht heute" (not today). This worked much better. One of the whores even responded that tommorow would be better for her too.
- There is a street in Hamburg that would be Mike's favourite in the world -no women allowed in, only men above 18. It was where the other hookers hang out in windows like in Amsterdam, except here it is gated off. Unfortunately, it wasn't more risque than Amsterdam and in fact there was this one hooker that was so big that I reckon at some point she must have started eating while in her cubicle and is now trapped by her rolls. My eyes didn't like it...
- There are no drug offers in Hamburg... I guess this kinda suggests the whole "Dutch tolerance" thing doesn't really work that well for stopping the hard drugs...
- Greg pissed in a playground.
- We got the equivalent of a twelve pack of NZ beer for like NZ$3. Europe is the best country on earth. Why can't we have Penny Markt too?!?!

Yeah so that's all for now. We head to Berlin tommorow.

Nothing really happened, but I thought I should make a post anyway...

We're still in Osnabrück but are heading to Hamburg today. Currently we have no place to stay there so yeah... Hopefully couchsurfing will come through for us in the end but as it is it looks like we'll end up in a youth hostel. Fuck I hate paying for accomodation...

Anyway so yesterday was a bit of a write-off. We were all a bit hungover but that was partially cured by a massive fry-up -cheers Henry! We then spent the rest off the afternoon watching movies and Scrubs. So we've seen a lot of Osnabrück...

In other news, German police are rascist. They walked through our train and checked the passport of the one darkie on our carriage (they scrutinized this for some time) and didn't even look at the rest of us. For all they know, some of us could have had drugs in our pocket that they couldn't finish from the night before because Amsterdam weed is so unbelievably strong so they took it with them to Germany where their cousin helped dispose of it... hypothetically of course.

Got hammered... again

We made it out of Amsterdam ok only to arrive at Al's cousins place in Osnabruck, Germany. Then he proceeded to get us thoroughly plastered. Its now 1.21pm and we have just had breakfast. Osnabruck is a nice town and from what we can remember the bars werent bad. Al souvineered himself a non-smoking sign. He's very pröud.

Nothing happened... honest

We're in Amsterdam.
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Tomorrow we leave.

P.S. Lucy whats your bust size and waist? Lace or leather?

Amsterdamned

So that was a sweet night, as you may be able to see from the post. Big thanks to Tom for letting us stay and showing us a good time. We caught a train up to Amsterdam today, its a great town. Every third shop sells sex, another third sell weed and the other third are just, well, shops. The streets smell of weed. Alastair would also like to mention that he saw a windmill on the way up, thus effectively completing the dutch experience. Al would also like to add that, quote: "they were at least 15". And frigid obviously. Bitches. But dutch girls are ridiculously hot. Dont tell Lucy.